such as

Watch

I lament that seasons 2-5 of this show are not on DVD.

Oct 2nd

I’m craving a turkey leg like whoa.

Oct 2nd

I need some clippers. My feet are looking like eagle claws.

Oct 2nd

You see her collar?

I had to buy one with bells on it, so I can hear where she is at all times.

Oct 1st

Nap resumed.

Oct 1st

Oct 1st

I ran into a guy from elementary school this morning at...

Oct 1st

my dog saw a squirrel

She bolted for the patio and wriggled through the bars, running damn near 5 miles. I ran in some...

Oct 1st

SMM has me aching for tags.

From now on I’m just going to tag my posts with things that have no relation whatsoever to...

Oct 1st

I have two capri suns and a grandpa-style egg salad...

Oct 1st

Watch

The other movie I cannot wait to see is Nine, if only to see DDL driving around Sophia Loren in that...

Oct 1st

Watch

yosamanthrax: suchas: I will mostly reserve my judgement as this is just a teaser trailer but...

Oct 1st

Watch

I will mostly reserve my judgement as this is just a teaser trailer but this looks aiight....

Oct 1st

For my sanity, I am going to pretend...

Or else they’d never work again or some nonsense.

Oct 1st

Why does James Franco insist on throwing it...

Oct 1st

Penelope Cruz, Harrison Ford, Gael...

Oh, boo, you whores.

Oct 1st

Listen

The Chi-Lites - “Homely Girl” Here go my anthem, y’all. Homely girls put dem...

Oct 1st

Hold up.

Is the Kel Mitchell on Tumblr THE Kel Mitchell? Kel of Kenan and Kel fame? Because if he is, I...

Oct 1st

I would love to bust out the google-fu...

but he shares the same name as a historical figure. My love for George Washington* abides. *No, not...

Oct 1st

Watch

Talkin’ to myself and feeeeelin’ old…

Oct 1st

My old 7th grade crush works at Central Market. He is still hot. Very hot. I am sure this is the...

Oct 1st

Watch

The only thing that can make me laugh without fail is videos of people getting scared.

Sep 30th

OR

I would buy a piece of the Pollo Loco franchise. Yes. Delicious, delicious Pollo Loco.

Sep 30th

Given I won the Texas two-step lotto,

I would buy a castle, a hefty share in Taco Bell, that donut maker thingamabob you see at Krispy...

Sep 30th

Watch

A baby piggy gets a warm bath!

Sep 30th

Listen

John Williams - “Cavatina (Theme from The Deer Hunter)” You know when it’s...

Sep 30th

RICK!

Sep 30th

They sell this thing at Sam’s Club. It drives me...

Sep 30th

Um.

On the way to the corner store, I passed a guy in a cheese wedge costume.

Sep 29th

katiepalooza: Chili pepper covered watermelon lollipop. A...

Sep 29th

Fuck that. My soul wants a chili dog. BUT LIKE BAD.

Sep 29th

I coul stand for a big ass chili dog. Like a Coney from...

Sep 29th

kiamatthews: I mean, really. Kia, I beg you to make Hey...

Sep 29th

Hey. On the plus side, at least Kubrick...

(via yosamanthrax) Oh my god, yes. If he ever signed such petition, I’d be like a...

Sep 29th

If my eyes don't decieve me,

Steven Spielberg isn’t on that list! All is not lost! We got Spielberg…right? For now?...

Sep 29th

Could anyone direct me to a list of...

I need to know who to boycott.

Sep 29th

Listen

The Emotions, “Blind Alley” True facts: Mariah Carey’s, “Dreamlover”...

Sep 29th

“Darko was able to independently raise the P&A we needed...”
— Tucker Max. Hahaha. 40...

Sep 29th

Eli Roth jerks off into tissue, posts it on...

Sep 29th

rosasparks: bubba ground up minisparks’s chocolate graham...

Sep 28th

That little piece of meat, Rosa.

IT IS MURDER ON YOUR GIRL. You can’t see me but I’m trying to reach through the screen...

Sep 28th

Ooh, baby baby!

rosasparks: So, Sunday is family day in our house. Unless we have to be at some place or thing, we...

Sep 28th

Watch

My dog, the sexual deviant. Witness.

Sep 27th

I try to be a good dog owner

and buy my dog a new pet bed. She gets freaky with that thing and humps it.

Sep 27th

I’m going to pretend I didn’t see this episode...

Sep 27th

Watch

Elton John, “Someone Saved My Life Tonight”

Sep 27th

I'm a damn fool for thinking I could...

I think I go through too many IMDB boards. The general consensus on Elton John’s,...

Sep 27th

Watch

This being one of my favorite songs, I always believe I sound like Elton when I sing along when I...

Sep 27th

I'm thinking of going on Ambien again.

This horrible insomnia. It keeels. Hopefully, I won’t end up sleep-eating, waking up hugging...

Sep 27th

Jesus appreciates the pimping of Jesus...

Sep 27th

I asked for her name, she said, "Blah...

Sep 26th

Listen

“Boomin’ Granny” — Beastie Boys See, I’m talkin’ about the way...

Sep 26th

I wish the Rudy character would've...

That revelation of his made the entire season for me (and because he founded a creepy kinship with...

Sep 26th

hurricane-k: He has a James Franco vibe that I fully,...

Sep 26th

True to life, folks.

Sep 26th

hurricane-k: On ABC Family right now For the loooongest...

Sep 26th

Watch

It’s okay, Barry. That’s one of your many good angles, anyway.

Sep 26th

pilgrimsoul: suchas: Let’s keep it this way, k? ...

Sep 26th

Perrito! This was from last year and I think we’ll go...

Sep 26th

Oooh!

I can give out camera taking picture thing lessons. I spent a grand total of 6 petty years in...

Sep 26th

Let’s keep it this way, k? Related: Everytime I see...

Sep 26th

Good morning friends, heathens and...

Ever been to Australia? Me neither! My blog illustrating religious epithets simply titled Jesus Be...

Sep 26th

jesus be a tumblr

!!! wait, that sounds like Jesus Beat Umblr. What did Umblr ever do to JC?

Sep 26th

and let's leave FUCK YEAH out of it,...

Sep 26th

I should start a separate Jesus tumblr.

Would you follow it like lambs to the Shepherd? What would I call it, even?

Sep 26th

That's cool, he doesn't even follow me.

Sep 26th

I SEE HOW IT IS.

Sep 26th

You still wanna be my roommate?

Sep 26th

Moonwalking Jesus. I’m taking requests because I have...

Sep 26th

I have a thing for slapping people's...

I should just include that when I start looking for a roomie. ‘Hispanic female, college...

Sep 26th

idonthavedreams: Good evening suchas! So I was peeping your living space and CAN I COME LIVE WITH...

Sep 26th

I'm listening to the Buena Vista Social...

I think this is a good time to take off my pants and break out those chocolates with the cognac...

Sep 26th

I know what I'm like, okay?

And the only reason I don’t buy things like sweatpants, snuggies, comfortable shoes or these...

Sep 26th

Watch

subjecttomeg: Lady Gaga before she was “Lady Gaga.” (Also, I like this.) (via) I would much...

Sep 26th

CHECK OUT THIS VAGINA DRESS. I’M SURRIOUS.

Sep 26th

If you do this kind of thing, you just look like a pinata.

Sep 26th

jU$t b3 tH@nKfuL i d0nT tYp3 L!k3 tH!z!...

sorry.

Sep 26th

crabbyalissa: subjecttomeg: Okay, I can not read anything else that capitalizes words that would...

Sep 26th

Who are you, Charo?

Sep 26th

I can’t stand for this either. Mostly, I am just sore...

Sep 26th

This is cool and all but I still believe that denim mini...

Sep 26th

I highly underestimated groom's cake ice...

DELICIOUS. In a word. Chocolate cake with chocolate covered strawberries with even more chocolate. ...

Sep 26th

I have a movie. Only $7 at B&N.

Sep 25th

My tetas would look fantastic in this thing. I must find a...

Sep 25th

hurricane-k: Oh yes. KATRINAAAAAAA! Oh, I want that on my...

Sep 25th

BOO YA.

Sep 25th

Beep beep! who got the keys to Jeep?

vrrooooooomm.

Sep 25th

all of a sudden, I have the munchies for...

Sep 25th

so you understand that if I ever laugh...

It’s not cuz it’s ugly, it’s cuz you’re wearing a vagina.

Sep 25th

vagina shirt.

Sep 25th

Upside down mini vagina.

Sep 25th

I generally avoid buying clothes with decorative jazz down...

Sep 25th

That song he did with Fergie? "Impact"...

The only impact happening around here is my foot to Daddy Yankee’s head. Cocksucker.

Sep 25th

there isn't a day that goes by that I...

rosasparks: suchas: Never you forget, Daddy Yankee was also that one cockrag who publicly...

Sep 25th

there isn't a day that goes by that I...

Never you forget, Daddy Yankee was also that one cockrag who publicly supported John McCain because...

Sep 25th

Watch

crabbyalissa: Oh, wait, yes I did. If anyone needs me, I’m going to be in my bomb shelter. ...

Sep 25th

to the man playing the jazz sax in the...

crabbyalissa: suchas: youcankeepthechange: carry on. actually, bring me wine and tomato...

Sep 25th

to the man playing the jazz sax in the...

youcankeepthechange: carry on. actually, bring me wine and tomato bruschetta. and then carry on....

Sep 25th

I hope to one day invent a horrifically...

You may write the lyrics on my tomb.

Sep 25th

I think there's a middle school dance...

iseeellis: They’re only playing 90’s dance music, including but not limited to “What is Love,”...

Sep 25th

Solve this.

rosasparks: suchas: Two trains leave Chicago at 38:00, 38:20, and 38:40 respectively. One travels...

Sep 25th

Solve this.

Two trains leave Chicago at 38:00, 38:20, and 38:40 respectively. One travels east and another...

Sep 25th

I can't believe math came so easy to me.

I’m looking over some old trig workbooks. It might as well be RUNES. To think I was a...

Sep 25th

crabbyalissa: I’ll be watching Community because I love Joel...

Sep 25th

I was at the check out at Walmart earlier today. The guy...

Sep 25th

Reblog with the most awkward song that...

crabbyalissa: iseeellis: titleuntitled: britlikesduubees: passthemike:chelseammkay: (via:...

Sep 24th

“All I’ve done for 26 years is drive to work, clock in,...”
— LeVar Burton, My Living...

Sep 24th

A shoe for the blogger formerly known as Khrushchev! Happy...

Sep 24th

This one goes out to Rosasparks.

Sep 24th

This needs to be a thing.

Sep 23rd

all of a sudden, I get a strong...

sparklepants: (via suchas) All of a sudden???? Don’t you mean ALL THE TIME? Yeah, I know! I...

Sep 23rd

all of a sudden, I get a strong...

Sep 23rd

things that make me laugh.

Cheap stunt props. There’s a helicopter scene in that hammy Wolverine movie. When the copter...

Sep 23rd

Justin Timberlake to star in 'Facebook: The...

Sep 23rd

to be fair, the name Lopez is very Smith...

You’d never take me for being to related to Jennifer, George or Mario. Maybe the guy that...

Sep 23rd

would any of y'all ever believe me if I...

Probably not. Maybe Mario.

Sep 23rd

That pizza was mad delicious.

It had chicken, spinach and parme cheeze. I don’t give no cay-uh what Jesus thought of my pie...

Sep 23rd

A guy came back to class after break...

minou: A whole pizza. Sat there and ate it. Spiccoli-style. And that was maybe the best thing that...

Sep 23rd

Karina Smirnoff is a vodka heiress?!

No fair, I wanna be a vodka heiress. And not even for the money!

Sep 23rd

Watch

This one isn’t sappy! Tru fax, I was given my name after the Spanish version of this song.

Sep 23rd

Watch

It’s nice. I wish it was less sappy.

Sep 23rd

I bet you don't have a name that's a Bob...

No or no?

Sep 23rd

Watch

sedatedm: I’m bad - Michael Jackson Who’s bad? I like to antagonize people who dislike what I...

Sep 23rd

“The book he wrote was banned from these dumb old libraries...”
— J.D. Salinger’s...

Sep 23rd

Watch

I KNEW IT! Just like I read on that bathroom wall one time, Frasier is a Satanist conspiracy...

Sep 22nd

ay chihuahuas!

It’s all of a sudden really cold outside. I twas only 89 yesterday at this time.

Sep 22nd

Fayleez Coomplay-ahnos, Sparklepants! If you were in my...

Sep 22nd

You might just make it after all!

Sep 22nd

Listen

My grandfather use to play this version of “Guantanamera” really loudly on a boombox to...

Sep 22nd

Rico was funny. He didn’t understand the concept of a...

Sep 22nd

On my 7th birthday, after Hector died, my grandparents got...

Sep 22nd

On my 4th birthday,

my grandparents gave me a rooster. I recieved him as a little chick. I named him Hector, after my...

Sep 22nd

When I was little,

we had a giant pig named Cha Cha on our farm. When she bit me, we ate her.

Sep 22nd

either my big ass rice-fed culo shrunk

or I’m losing weight because these pants are strangely loose-fitting. And I just took these...

Sep 21st

Actually, nevermind, don't read that...

vindicatedcommunications: It’s border line insane and he conflicts himself every other sentence....

Sep 21st

“You fat, whiny feminist bitches with your senses of...”
— I Hate White Women “All the...

Sep 21st

historicupstart: somerset: (via valkyries) This looks fun...

Sep 21st

if you're ever desperate to get hit on

crabbyalissa: suchas: crabbyalissa: suchas: go to Barnes and Noble. You’re destined to have a...

Sep 21st

what on earth am I saying?

I fucking hate the water. Do I? I don’t know. I get lots of vertigo around water. Bad...

Sep 21st

to think,

I could be eating cheap lobster dinners (they were two whole US dollars last time I was there) and...

Sep 21st

I’ve been toying with the idea of going to school...

Sep 21st

if you're ever desperate to get hit on

crabbyalissa: suchas: go to Barnes and Noble. You’re destined to have a mouf breavah who’s wearing...

Sep 21st

if you're ever desperate to get hit on

go to Barnes and Noble. You’re destined to have a mouf breavah who’s wearing too much...

Sep 21st

you guiiiiize

a stranger bought me a cupcake at B&N. I fanned myself dramatically and hoped he wasn’t...

Sep 21st

I have a creepy neighbor.

Who probably is peeking out his window every five minutes to see if I’m outside walking my dog...

Sep 21st

Dirty old turkey.

Sep 21st

chuffedlittlemuffin: subjecttomeg: It’s a-coming.  Like...

Sep 21st

Watch

Oh, ha. I played this out loud and my mother asked from the other room, “What Michael...

Sep 21st

Watch

bingoparaphernalia: suchas: I’m sure it’s just me and my one time orchestral schooling talking...

Sep 20th

Watch

I’m sure it’s just me and my one time orchestral schooling talking but I’m pretty...

Sep 20th

don't be a bitch, Jammin' 105.

At least play my favorite Janet, “Love Will Never Do (Without You)”

Sep 20th

Damn, man!

The “oldies” station here in Austin must love Janet Jackson a ton. I feel like I hear...

Sep 20th

I like this avatar.

I think it accurately represents who I am as a person.

Sep 20th

picking ridiculous avatars makes up for...

Since 1997!

Sep 20th

I think it's time for a new avatar.

Something sexy. BRB.

Sep 20th

Happy, happy birthday, Kels! Here is a sexy cartoon man,...

Sep 20th

Variety. My grandpa loves Josh Groban.

Sep 20th

don't be a groupie, keep it movin'

pahtnah, YOU DON’T KNOW ME!

Sep 20th

testing.

Sep 20th

One More Chance - The Notorious B.I.G.

Sep 20th

I don't have any hilarious prom photos.

And not because I wasn’t asked out to prom (I was not asked out to prom).

Sep 20th

I received a prom picture from a cousin

it’s delightfully…ah, let’s see, what word would Angela Martin use?…...

Sep 20th

I have chocolates that have a cognac...

I should probably refrain from eating all of them.

Sep 19th

drop top BM's, I'M THE MAN, GIRLFRIEND.

Sep 19th

however, livin' better now, gucci...

Sep 19th

Tumblr is a great blogging service…FOR ME TO POOP ON!

Sep 19th

Sep 19th

can I add to irrational fears?

vindicatedcommunications: suchas: Things I think about happening that disturb me immensely are...

Sep 19th

can I add to irrational fears?

Things I think about happening that disturb me immensely are getting a plank of wood nailed to my...

Sep 19th

#4 on my list of Profound But Irrational...

kelsium: faithandbegorrah: That as I am walking across my apartment with a fork or spoon in my...

Sep 19th

"Nicolas Cage says he turned down The Green...

Sep 19th

a mosquito bit my tit.

I have some red cleavage. It looks like baboon ass.

Sep 19th

Watch

faithandbegorrah: Hey, LB, this is Dungeons & Dragons, not Magic, but you made me think of it...

Sep 19th

ooookay.

I involuntarily began to sing just now. “If I was a rich girl, na na na na na na na...

Sep 18th

I found a bag of mashed potato flakes.

I hope they’re not expired. The bag says 4 servings but I fit the entire contents into a...

Sep 18th

I could order a pizza.

Doesn’t mean I should, though. I have less than a hundred bucks in my checking and I already...

Sep 18th

now I don't feel so good.

Maybe I should’ve used those McDonald’s ketchup packages on the raw chicken.

Sep 18th

I ate a piece of raw chicken.

It was strangely delicious. Raw. I wanna keep eating but I’m afraid of getting chickenella.

Sep 18th

Lunch with the librarian went really...

hurricane-k: She was super knowledgeable, funny, and just plain old cool. She introduced me to a...

Sep 18th

I figure I can do some field research at...

katiepalooza: suchas: If I ever need it, that is. It won’t be entirely in vain. And I already...

Sep 18th

I figure I can do some field research at...

If I ever need it, that is. It won’t be entirely in vain. And I already own plenty of hose in...

Sep 18th

so I can take an unpaid internship at...

vindicatedcommunications: suchas: or I can take that offer from Hooters. Decisions. Take...

Sep 18th

so I can take an unpaid internship at...

or I can take that offer from Hooters. Decisions.

Sep 18th

I have nothing in my fridge besides raw...

Disgraceful.

Sep 18th

chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream

is so sugary, it necessitates that I drink a glass of milk with it. How rude.

Sep 18th

when I sneeze

I make this awful noise that sounds like someone’s violently tickling my loins. It sounds...

Sep 18th

I read she smacked her head recently, right?

Sep 18th

“I am a female in my mid 60’s and I am looking for a...”
— —20 Most bizarre...

Sep 18th

I CHOOSE HOV! Okay, fine, I’ll pay for the court case...

Sep 18th

decisions, decisions.

I could pay a legal fine and avoid being throwned in the slammah OR I could pop for a ticket to see...

Sep 18th

wait.

Do I get a machine or a person? Please let it be a machine.

Sep 17th

fuck you, ebay.

I do not want you to call me. Send a telegraph. Pony express that confirmation code to me. Use...

Sep 17th

those Prius commercials

with the nature people in the costumes are fuckin’ freaky. They’re like a hash trip...

Sep 17th

It's so cold in the D.

(via sistermarymartha) how the hell do I ‘pose to keep peace, man?

Sep 17th

I have an hour, exactly, to celebrate

and no alcohol in sight. Bad Mexican! Bad!

Sep 17th

DO YOU KNOW WHAT TODAY IS, U, S AND A? It’s Mexican...

Sep 17th

and the worst part is that they're...

I leave my patio door open to let in the breeze and the smell of them delicious steaks is driving me...

Sep 16th

Hand over them fries, girl. Surriously.

Sep 16th

OH GOD. I’m shaking like a junkie. I MUST have a...

Sep 16th

Mooobie time. Later, tumblr.

Sep 16th

for the way we weeeerrrreeee

Sep 16th

Smiles we gave to one anooootherrrr…

Sep 16th

Scattered piiiictuuuuures of the smiles we left behiiiiiiind

Sep 16th

I need a life.

I need to meet new people. A boy, even. Or else I’m just going to be here forever, singing...

Sep 16th

Anyway, back to being a responsible...

rosasparks: It’s French night and I’m making omelettes and salad. mini wants goat cheese and ham...

Sep 15th

Fats Domino, Congressman Lloyd Doggett. Easy mistake,...

Sep 15th

To be fair, I thought Lloyd Doggett was...

So I was excited.

Sep 15th

Oh, drugs. You complete me.

Sep 15th

I mean, REALLY.

rosasparks: If I had been documented in all my glory, when I was say 17 years old until well, last...

Sep 15th

Watch

So cute! A recreation of Walter Mischel’s delayed gratification experiment. I actually...

Sep 15th

“What happens is that a lot of journalists are lazy. They...”
— Point made, Brett Ratner, but...

Sep 15th

haguenite: Nerds are gross. The purple ones taste of grape Lipsmackers. I am glad you find them...

Sep 15th

Really? It’s available? Surely I’m not the only...

Sep 15th

Goodnight, Vida!

Sep 15th

cijimcb: hortenseg: Meanwhile, Heidi Montag thinks the...

Sep 14th

If I were fined $10,500 for every...

Sep 13th

I am going to march you over to the zoo...

sparklepants: as soon as I finish this drink. TIIIIMMMMBER!

Sep 13th

Watch

Fun fact. Whenever I was given a part I didn’t want to sing in Musical Choir class, I sang it...

Sep 13th

I’m sure this camera doesn’t make it look very...

Sep 13th

“But the camera really does love Megan Fox. When you see her...”
— Was that my heart beating?! ...

Sep 13th

Nelson and Michael Bay, sittin' in a...

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Sep 13th

Things I have: Stanley Kubrick’s, Killer’s...

Sep 12th

WORLDS COLLIDING

faithandbegorrah: Rich from fourfour is on This American Life. Wheeeeeee! I would advise Rich to...

Sep 12th

Only Mariah. Her hair looks good. Her tits are out but at...

Sep 12th

Hahahahaha. What an advert. I think this guy actually...

Sep 12th

oh yeah, and this creep took note of...

Including the Suze Orman book I fished out of the bargain shelf (it was a dollar so hush).

Sep 12th

I was a missed connection once.

rosasparks: A friend of mine reads them daily, forwarded it to me. This was over a year ago. I...

Sep 12th

so I was in the rain for almost 20...

Would you call that a shower? (seriously, call it a shower)

Sep 12th

I was stocking up on sunscreen at CVS today when this...

Sep 12th

ouch.

you know when you cut too much of a nail (or in my case, accidentally tear it off) and the skin...

Sep 12th

I should change my pants or I'll chafe...

I have an appointment with the ‘gina doctor soon.

Sep 11th

converse are the worst type of shoe to...

My forehead can tell you so.

Sep 11th

I was going to post a picture

but my tetas are MAD distracting.

Sep 11th

my dog just made me run half a mile in...

Yes, I am dripping wet.

Sep 11th

Kelsium. You were in 8th grade in 2001?...

kelsium: (via thedisgruntledgradstudent) I’m pretty sure I’m the baby of this particular Tumblr...

Sep 11th

Heeeelp meeeeee…

Sep 11th

damn, man.

I had to downgrade my cable because it was crazy expensive. I wish the momofuckin AT&T rep told...

Sep 11th

why, hello there, stack of pants!

I see you neatly folded in a pile over there. I washed you just yesterday. What’s that? No,...

Sep 9th

Ordered by most used:time people love life didn shit feel...

Sep 9th

vindicatedcommunications: Sharks and Bears and oh my, look...

Sep 9th

grooosssss.

I bought a birthday cake (it’s not my birthday, I am just a glutton) and this shit has enough...

Sep 8th

Testify.

Sep 7th

Oh hi, Tony. What’s that you say? I’m late for...

Sep 7th

fuckyeahmath: deleteyourself: Obvious Music Video Idea: ...

Sep 7th

Watch

Sometimes when I do some mindless activity, wether it be washing plates, changing my socks or...

Sep 7th

FUCK YOU, RODDICK. Fuck YOU and the...

I will go into my grave holding this grudge! I never forget! I never forgive!

Sep 7th

You know, I sound bitter

but the fact is, I fell right in front of his feet. Not in his eyeline or anything. His feet. With...

Sep 7th

HAW. HAW. HAW. See if I help you up. Jerk.

Sep 7th

I don’t get this guy but I would gladly eat cookies...

Sep 7th

Also, I once tripped in front of Andy...

I will not let that story rest. Ever.

Sep 7th

Random Feist facts:

hurricane-k: mybrandyalexander: lesliefeist: 1. Leslie has dated Kevin Drew, Brendan Canning and...

Sep 7th

My eeeeeyyyyyesssss!

Sep 6th

I have Facebook friends with delusions...

This repugnant little troll will write public notes warning “bitches” and...

Sep 6th

sleep warm, toomblr!

Sep 6th

WEAR SOME REAL PANTS, YOUNG MAN.

SLACKS. TROUSAHS. DON’T MATTER.

Sep 6th

I hate to get like Everyone’s Aunt but UNACCEPTABLE. ...

Sep 6th

(via thesecretpostcards) Oh, story of my life.

Sep 6th

Oh yeah, I forgot to update with the weekly Mariah Fever (or...

Sep 6th

LIKE IT. LOVE IT. FOREVER. NO SERIOUSLY....

Sep 6th

alright, upstairs neighbors.

I get maniacal stomping and you get a long, loud listen to Mariah Carey’s The Ballads...

Sep 6th

things pondered under the influence.

If you take a shower, where do you put it? If your nose runs and your feet smell, aren’t...

Sep 5th

I will stomp on Katy Perry like a roach.

Sep 5th

a complaint I just heard.

“I didn’t like The Sixth Sense because Toni Collette and Bruce Willis didn’t have...

Sep 5th

My aunt has a pug named Champ whose teeth are visible even when his mouth is shut. I often feel...

Sep 5th

Watch

My favorite scary movie is getting a Western remake. Heinous! Heinous!

Sep 5th

I shall cherish the moment.

Sep 5th

On the upside, I finally found the John Updike Christmas...

Sep 5th

My dog, the thief. There was this unbearable odor in the...

Sep 5th

Barbacoa tacos for breakfast!

Sep 5th

to think,

if I were the only woman in an all male college, those boys would be on me like ugly on an ape. ...

Sep 5th

James Orr put an immediate halt to his...

Sep 5th

Such As:

sparklepants: Co-ed and scholarships for all: http://www.cooper.edu/ But is it freeeeeee? If not,...

Sep 5th

Come on, Deep Springs Student Body!

I’ll give handjobs to those who vote in favor of female applicants! /this is the farm

Sep 5th

Watch

Seriously, COME ON!

Sep 5th

Says the FAQ: Do you accept women? Deep Springs does not currently consider female applicants....

Sep 5th

oh the fuck.

So I was researching a college in Inyo County, California that is basically free so long as you...

Sep 5th

As a young actress, Katharine Hepburn was dubbed...

Sep 5th

Ahahahahahaha.

Sep 5th

Watch

titanics: where can you see lions? only in kenyaaaaaa I got in trouble for playing this in class on...

Sep 5th

Dinnertime.

Sep 5th

feed me plz.

If anyone wants to come by in their ‘copter and drop a picnic basket near my apartment,...

Sep 4th

rats.

well, that’s what I get for leaving my pizza unattended. My dog ate it. And it was the last...

Sep 4th

the picture of the dog and the baby pig

jacked up my tumblarity by about 400 points. I will let you watch me as I weep when 400 points is...

Sep 4th

I casually tossed a book I finished off...

when a ticket stub to a June 26th, 7PM show to Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen that I had been...

Sep 4th

I've found catholic school relics,

tucked away in a metal box I got in scout camp. Items include: blue rosary beads received in...

Sep 4th

OH and,

Sep 3rd

Stop it, baby piggy! You’re going to force me to get...

Sep 3rd

Watch

Help. I’ve rollen over and I can’t get up!

Sep 3rd

I would take my poor student self and...

I will make a bitch cry at Cash Cab.

Sep 3rd

Would it kill her to wear her hair like this more often? It...

Sep 3rd

Watch

Apparently, this was a meme.

Sep 3rd

Sep 3rd

I would show you how yellow the armpits...

but one of y’all would probably report me to the county.

Sep 3rd

I should look into deodorant.

PEEEE-U

Sep 3rd

But you know, whatever. I feel too often because of things I...

Sep 3rd

hahahahaha. oh man.

I said “glate plass” Hahahaha. I need meds. Edit that, Enj, because I’m an...

Sep 3rd

“God, I really wish I could go loose on this one. He’s like...”
— Megan Fox on Michael Bay. ...

Sep 3rd

Law Abiding Citizen/Gamer

both Gerard Buttfaceler movies. May as well be the same one, right? Both look as deep and complex as...

Sep 3rd

“God, I really wish I could go loose on this one. He’s like...”
— Megan Fox on Michael Bay. ...

Sep 3rd

GPOYW: Things We Didn’t Know the Laptop Did Edition.

Sep 3rd