My name is Ramona, Mona, or Mo (or Sugar Drawers, depending on who you ask) aka TexasCrude and I mostly blow off going to college to look for Sugar Daddies on Craigslist. I am 6’ 1, leggy and blonde. In my spare time, I enjoy reading the Bible and wrangling leopards. I change my avatar a lot. I am a movie reviewer extraordinare. I like Mariah Carey. I am filing out residency in Hell by also doing Jesus Be. Facebook (if you add me, I’ll show you my boobs). Send me love letters and proposals at moedlopez@gmail.comTumblr (3.0; @suchas)http://suchas.tumblr.com/<img src="http://17.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ktp0dldMoA1qzq5o5o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Really, now?</p>http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/257605239http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/257605239Wed, 25 Nov 2009 20:34:33 -0500LOLLLL!<img src="http://18.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ktn1yup3a21qaqf3ho1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://marissaallison.tumblr.com/post/256200628/via-fyouimawesome">marissaallison</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>(via <a href="http://fyouimawesome.tumblr.com/">fyouimawesome</a>)</p> </blockquote> <p>But we can all agree that everyone needs him, right? Especially dreadful people.</p>http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/256202781http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/256202781Tue, 24 Nov 2009 19:16:46 -0500<img src="http://16.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ktn210qaxc1qaqf3ho1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://fyouimawesome.tumblr.com/post/256200950/its-the-hottest-christmas-gift-for-people-over">fyouimawesome</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>It’s the hottest Christmas gift (for people over 50) this season!</p> </blockquote> <p>Hahahaha. My mother who is not close to 50 could really benefit from this kind of remote control.</p>http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/256202133http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/256202133Tue, 24 Nov 2009 19:16:12 -0500<img src="http://18.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ktmvec2q5r1qzhtyeo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>(via <a href="http://ilovemariahcarey.tumblr.com/">ilovemariahcarey</a>)</p>http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/256187245http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/256187245Tue, 24 Nov 2009 19:01:50 -0500<img src="http://2.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ktn0jvXCPi1qaqf3ho1_400.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://fyouimawesome.tumblr.com/post/256167625/marilyn-that-book-is-upside-down-thats-ok">fyouimawesome</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Marilyn! That book is upside down. That’s ok, reading is hard!</p> </blockquote>http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/256179275http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/256179275Tue, 24 Nov 2009 18:54:09 -0500<embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://suchas.tumblr.com/swf/audio_player.swf?audio_file=http://www.tumblr.com/audio_file/255379914/tumblr_ktlr595Vqn1qzq5o5&color=FFFFFF" height="27" width="207" quality="best"></embed><br/><br/><p>David Shire, “Closer & Closer” from <i>Zodiac (Music from the Motion Picture)</i></p>http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/255379914http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/255379914Tue, 24 Nov 2009 02:22:21 -0500kreeeeepy!<p><i>A Flaming Bag of Dog Dookie </i>(2003, NR, 4 mins): FOUR STARS!</p> <p><i>Hot Pocket Cooking in a Microwave </i>(2005, R, 2.30 mins): FOUR STARS!</p> <p><i>My Laundry</i> (1992, NR, 30 mins): FOUR STARS!</p> <p><i>The Sprinkler Rotating On My Neighbor’s Lawn</i> (1997, NR, 280 mins): FOUR STARS!</p> <p><i>Clipping My Toenails </i>(Yesterday, NR, 6 mins): FOUR STARS!</p> <p>Does Peter Travers love <i>everything? </i>What hasn’t he seen that he didn’t like? Is he blurbed in posters so often because he likes whatever you show him?</p> <p>Fuck.</p>http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/255355054http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/255355054Tue, 24 Nov 2009 01:53:06 -0500http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/255329353http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/255329353Tue, 24 Nov 2009 01:24:25 -0500<img src="http://21.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ktlmy3as0U1qzq5o5o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>You know the scariest place to be in a car during the night? Besides bound and gagged in the trunk, I mean? West Texas!</p> <p>Two or three years or so ago, I used to have to make a weekly drive during the summer from Marfa, Texas (aka UFO PORTAL, TEXAS, more on that later) to nearby Fort Davis, usually in the verrrry, verrrry night. A few nights I had to drive all the way to momofuckin’ Odessa. I was often sleepy and was advised by my grandfather to get a room at the (wait for it) GATES MOTEL in Monahans, if I couldn’t keep my eyes open.</p> <p>Cuz nothing could possibly go wrong for a sleepy young woman driving in the desert by herself at night, riiiiiight? (I would’ve taken a shower when I got home, thankyouverymuch)</p> <p>It has to be noted that it’s practically pitch black at night. I can’t see much beyond the headlights and cell phone towers, sometimes those creepy ass Marfa lights.  I prayed and prayed that I wouldn’t get murdered when my grandma’s hammy ass 94 Honda once died on me at 4 AM at night.</p>http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/255297343http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/255297343Tue, 24 Nov 2009 00:51:39 -0500<p>BUT’CHA ARE, BLANCHE! YOU’RE IN THAT CHAIR!</p>http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/255261996http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/255261996Tue, 24 Nov 2009 00:18:00 -0500<img src="http://16.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ktlk06oTTd1qzq5o5o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Whenever I’ve had a really long day and just want to lay on the couch with my giant <a href="http://www.importedblankets.com/store/images/cache/blanket-526ab1c21bb0bdb52b94fcf9b7b04125.jpg">Selena blanket</a>, I watch a movie that I love and have seen a gajillion times. I don’t know what it says about me that my go-to comfort movie is this one.</p>http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/255228418http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/255228418Mon, 23 Nov 2009 23:48:06 -0500MORBID!Don't invite me to your house.HAVE YOU CHECKED THE CHILDREN?wrong reference<img src="http://1.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ktlja7lgbj1qzq5o5o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Atta girl, Suri!</p>http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/255210465http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/255210465Mon, 23 Nov 2009 23:32:31 -0500start em youngshe is 3 and posher than I am<p>On certain site.</p> <p>Not <i>even. </i>going. to. click.</p>http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/255206892http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/255206892Mon, 23 Nov 2009 23:29:27 -0500<img src="http://17.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ktjqfcMfPX1qzq5o5o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p>Bette Davis</p> <p>(LIFE)</p>http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/253965585http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/253965585Mon, 23 Nov 2009 00:11:35 -0500<img src="http://10.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ktjlkdXRyn1qzqvm2o1_400.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://lickystickypickyme.tumblr.com/post/253844588/dali-and-mustache">lickystickypickyme</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><b>Dali and mustache.</b></p> </blockquote>http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/253956173http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/253956173Mon, 23 Nov 2009 00:02:53 -0500<img src="http://5.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ktjfgo2A7W1qztz82o1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://rhiannosaurus.tumblr.com/post/253688950/hey-if-anyone-needs-to-make-a-call-ive-got-a">rhiannosaurus</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>“Hey, if anyone needs to make a call, I’ve got a phone!”</p> </blockquote>http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/253690111http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/253690111Sun, 22 Nov 2009 20:15:56 -0500<object width="400" height="336"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/5rO1vtneCZY&rel=0&egm=0&showinfo=0&fs=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/5rO1vtneCZY&rel=0&egm=0&showinfo=0&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="336" allowFullScreen="true" wmode="transparent"></embed></object><br/><br/><p>BABS! My favourite Barbra song.</p>http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/253674570http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/253674570Sun, 22 Nov 2009 20:02:20 -0500favourite?wtf?BABS!<object width="400" height="336"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/fAimJ-EXOF8&rel=0&egm=0&showinfo=0&fs=1"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/fAimJ-EXOF8&rel=0&egm=0&showinfo=0&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="336" allowFullScreen="true" wmode="transparent"></embed></object><br/><br/><p>It’s not Thanksgiving but I heard it grocery shopping and I forget how joyous it makes me! So joyous I sing it all year round! While inebriated!</p>http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/253664927http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/253664927Sun, 22 Nov 2009 19:53:36 -0500fayleez nahveedad<p>I think I like this guy.</p>http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/253650774http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/253650774Sun, 22 Nov 2009 19:41:07 -0500<img src="http://12.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ktjdjkw79D1qz82doo1_400.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://hman.tumblr.com/post/253642114/how-do-you-keep-your-hair-looking-so-great-all">hman</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><i><b>“How do you keep your hair looking so great all the time? —Jennifer Cheng, Freehold, N.J.</b> </i></p> <p><i>I’ve never told anyone this before. This is a hair scoop. Shower before you go to bed, and then sleep on your wet hair. Towel-dry it. In the morning, it’s all messed up naturally. If you have that messed-up thing going when you wake up, it’s more willing to stay that way. That’s Zac’s hair tip.”</i></p> <p>Aw, I like it when people whom you wouldn’t expect to can laugh at themselves.</p> <p>(<a href="http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1940696,00.html">TIME</a>)</p> </blockquote> <p>Woo! I have Zac hair, EVERYDAY! It doesn’t look as good.</p> <p>Tips from the beautiful people.</p>http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/253647871http://suchas.tumblr.com/post/253647871Sun, 22 Nov 2009 19:38:35 -0500